Hey people it's been ages since i last blogged. I think i've been so busy that there really hasn't been time to blog. And now finally, i'm taking a break and just well, spending some time i guess to write some stuff here.

Got really sick this week which is terrible as SYF is just next tuesday. Sigh. I'm coughing non stop and it's dry cough so it like.. causes a terrible sore throat. Aiya, what to do. I think i was probably too stressed up and worried last week over things i don't have a control over. Sometimes, maybe it really is very difficult to care so much when others don't care as much as i do. Then it just becomes so frustrating, like this sense of helplessness and wanting to murder someone. heh. But i guess sometimes, it's just perhaps too late to change things, because it will take up too much time, or that just a few people wanting something to happen is not enough to be able to make everyone see their way. Worrying just makes things worse and in a way can't exactly solve the problem. Aiya.

Not like i really found a solution, just found a compromise i guess.

4 more days to SYF. I think we can make it if we try real hard. But then again, almost everyone has been putting in hours and hours of practise. The question really is, is it fruitful? Do we learn something only to forget it the next practice. Is the time spent proportionate to the amount we improve?

Think a lot of it is our mentality. Sometimes i feel that perhaps we are singing so much, or trying hard, for what? To please Mr Toh? Or is it really to try to make the magic we can out of the music. Somtimes i just have a feeling that people are going through the motion of things. Like 'ok we gotta get GWH' so they work and work and work. But then it's like, working blindly? Don't really know. It's like as if it's not really a target set by themselves, but rather, set by someone else. And because they're in choir so it's their 'duty' to sing and practise and do their best. But it's just missing the point that it should all be for ourselves. There has to be that extra.. inner motivation and passion, before we can ownself want to further improve our music, and make more out of what we have. Instead, they're being pushed along and nudged along. There's no urge to go beyond the target we set and say WOW we only needed 100% but we managed to reach 150%.

I sometimes really believe in drilling things into the choir as well. I mean, drilling in a smart way. Like not doing 10thousand times only to have forgotten it afterwards. And i guess the thinking ahead part is really true la. Like must think ahead like what's coming and what we must do. That's just the initial.. Eventually it should really become 2nd nature such that no matter under what circumstances, it will be as it has always been. And not forgetten and realised only after the damage has been done. And then regret. Like that, what's the point? So sad isn't it.

But then again, i can't expect everyone to be as passionate about chorale/music-making. That would simply be the ideal choir. Haha. So perhaps there's just something lacking. I don't know. We need some form of inspiration? And of course, the inspiration towards the correct thing. We cannot think of like 'GWH!!' or 'yes yes practise really hard and try really hard!' because i think in like, art, there has to be this extra ooomph and well, passion for it before it can be taken 1 step further to cross that line. Yes like why would passion and stuff appear in our music? But like Mr Toh said, emotions of a person can be sensed, and like he said that though CJ may be out of tune, but they're making music. And i think because the people there are really trying hard to try to make music. The point is music as a whole idea, and not like singing individual parts, or trying to stay in tune, or just keeping in rhythm. There has to be this entire sense. Just this beeeeg picture. Don't really know how to explain lehz.

Ah well after all we only have 4 days left. So once again, we can just keep trying and trying. After all sacrificing another 4 days of our lives isn't going to take much =)